Fat Whack Read online

  She did not answer. She simply stared at the monster with fury in her eyes.

  “Determination,” he said. “Good, I want you to see how this all ends, especially for your friend, Ninja #5. I’m sure he will come to rescue you soon, and that’s when the real fun begins. Take Miss Lopez to a holding cell.”

  The Ninja dragged Carina by her hair out of the throne room. A minute later she was locked up in a cage. Through the bars of her cell, she could see the starting line of the obstacle course. Four new kids were standing behind it.

  Police Navidad

  Ninja #5 sat in a tree, watching the home of Alda Lopez. Carina had not returned from her mission. The plan had been that Carina find a way to believably get in the Fat Master’s fortress. After she was in, she was to learn as much information as she could and then sneak out as soon as possible. The moment she escaped, she was supposed to phone in her findings. It was now Christmas Eve, and Carina hadn’t phoned in anything. Ninja #5 was worried. Something had definitely gone wrong. He had come to that conclusion days ago.

  It was time to start thinking about a rescue mission. It would have to be a full frontal assault. He didn’t like that, but it was the only way to save Carina and all of the kids. To accomplish this, he would need help. That’s why he had already contacted the only two ninjas he still trusted. They were en route. While waiting for their arrival, he gathered a few materials essential for his plan and decided to check in on Carina’s grandmother. She was staring out of a window. She had one hand resting on her sewing machine, probably wondering why her granddaughter hadn’t shown up to eat Christmas Eve dinner.

  I swear to you Alda, he said to himself, I’ll have her back for you before the new year.

  Alda quickly walked away from the window. When she reappeared, she had a panicked look on her face and a phone pressed against her ear. A twirling cord stretched out far behind her into the darkness. Something yanked the phone away. That same something then yanked Alda away. The woman disappeared into the black.

  His worst fear was coming true. Carina’s mission must have failed, and not only that, the Fat Master must have seen through her disguise and known her true identity. The ninja descended with lightning-quick speed, crashing through the window just in time to block a Bowie knife from delivering a death blow to the woman. She fell to the ground. The assassin jumped on top of her, knife raised. As the knife fell, Ninja #5 kicked the blade left of its mark. It stabbed the floor an inch away from Alda’s face. She cursed in Spanish. From behind, Ninja #5 wrapped his arms around his opponent’s neck in a choke hold. The man twisted out of the hold and pushed the ninja into the Christmas tree. Glass ornaments fell to the floor and burst. That’s when he noticed the assassin’s face, or what was left of it.

  “Anteater!” Ninja #5 yelled.

  “Season’s greetings, mother fucker,” the Anteater responded.

  The hitman moved towards the woman again, knife in hand. Ninja #5 grabbed the star from the top of the tree and threw it at him. It bounced off his forehead, causing a puss pocket to pop. Enraged, he turned around and charged at the ninja. Ninja #5 moved out of his path at the last second, and in one graceful move, he wrapped a strand of Christmas tree lights around his opponent’s neck. The Anteater dropped his knife and clawed at his throat. Ninja #5 pulled the strand of lights tighter. Life was quickly draining out of the hitman, but he was able to grab his concealed pistol from his cargo pants pocket and fire one round. The bullet went straight into the top of Ninja #5’s foot, causing him to loosen his grip for a moment. The Anteater took advantage of the distraction. He spun around and grabbed the ninja by the throat. With amazing strength, he slammed the ninja’s head into the wall, and then he slammed it into the wall again. He lifted the ninja up into the air and then body slammed him onto the floor. Ninja #5 arched his back in agony. The Anteater pointed his gun at the fallen hero.

  “Merry Christmas to me,” he said. “You’re supposed to be in the woods right now; he’s expecting you. Guess I’ll just have to deliver you myself, in a body bag of course. Maybe I’ll put a bow on top, tis the season and all.”

  “You killed my Master!” Ninja #5 growled. His eyes were red with broken blood vessels. “I will end you and the Fat Master!”

  “Doesn’t look that way from where I’m standing.” He placed a little more pressure on the trigger of the gun but not enough to make it fire. “Also, technically I only—”

  The Anteater fell face-first on top of the ninja, knocked out cold. Ninja #5 pushed the man’s massive frame off of him, and was confronted by something even more terrifying. Alda Lopez was standing over him, with her sewing machine raised high above her head. She was ready to strike. The Anteater’s blood stained the bottom corner of the machine.

  “Who are you?” she yelled. “Who is he? Why did you try and save me? And where is my granddaughter?”

  “It’s me! Ninja #5!”

  The woman acted as if she was going to drop the machine on him.

  “No! It’s Jay, Jay Chan!” Ninja #5 yelled, suddenly remembering that the woman only knew him by a false name. He took off his mask to prove his identity.

  “What have you done with Carina?” she demanded.

  “Someone has her. I know where she is, and I’m going to get her back, I swear.”

  She dropped the sewing machine on the floor beside the ninja.

  “Who has her? And who is this ugly—” Alda was pointing at the floor where her would-be assassin was lying only moments ago. He was gone. All that remained was a stain of blood and yellow ooze on the floor.

  “Dammit, he’s gone,” Ninja #5 said. “That was a hitman called The Anteater.”

  “Why on earth would he come after me?” she asked.

  “I don’t have time to explain. I need to—”

  “Listen,” she interrupted, “I don’t know what you have gotten my granddaughter into, but you go get her, and you bring her back. She’s all I have left in this world. Do it, or I’ll finish what the Anteater couldn’t. Understand?”

  He nodded his understanding. Police sirens grew loud in his ears.

  “I dialed the police right before he attacked me,” she said. “Somehow I knew someone was in the house. You need to leave, now. Go! Go save my Carina.”

  Ninja #5 vanished out of the broken window just as the police crashed through the front door.

  Eating The Habits

  From her cage, Carina watched as new kids ran the obstacle course daily. The winners soon realized that they had survived only to become enslaved to a madman. They were forced to train in martial arts, and after each training session, they were forced to eat food—a lot of food. It was strange and demoralizing. Stranger still was the fact that many of the kidnapped kids seemed to want to be here. They weren’t forced to train or forced to eat. They did both willingly. Some even thanked the Fat Master.

  Carina had a working theory on why these kids worshipped the tub of lard like a deity. She had observed that twice a day, each child would be taken into a trailer. The kids were always accompanied by a Dr. Dracula when entering this trailer. The presence of a vampire scientist made it safe to assume the trailer was a laboratory of some sort. She could not see what was happening inside the lab, but she could hear the screams. It sounded like the teens were being tortured. Oddly enough, when they came back out of the trailer, they were almost always smiling. Some kids were dragged in kicking and screaming, only to walk out perfectly calm and docile. The fear that had been plastered onto their faces upon entering the lab would be replaced with satisfied grins and glazed-over eyes. At first she thought that some kind of brainwashing was taking place, and while she still believed that it was happening to an extent, her new theory was even worse—chemical addiction. The Fat Master must be addicting kids to some new drug and then using their need for the substance to cultivate disciples and eventually, an army. She didn’t know how
, but she had to stop him.

  The Fat Master often moved about his compound on a wheelie chair made of reinforced steel. Every night he would force the newer, still unwilling candidates to step on a scale. If they weighed less than they had the day before, he would have them whipped—one lash for each pound lost. Some nights a large fire would be lit, and a party would take place. The entire glassy-eyed group would dance around the fire and kneel before their Master. If a kid refused to dance or kneel, he or she would be beaten and locked in a cage and cheers would follow. The addicted teens had become psychopaths who desired to enforce the Fat Master’s rules. The ninjas only intervened if necessary. After one such party, when the fire was but embers, the Fat Master rolled up to Carina’s cage.

  “Carina,” he said, “you have witnessed firsthand how my acolytes worship me. Soon, you will worship me as well. The only reason you do not already is because I want you to watch as I eat the flesh off of Ninja #5’s bones. But after, you will be a general in my army, and you’ll help ensure that the world kneels before me!”

  She spit at him through the bars of her cell.

  “It’s only a matter of time,” he spat back. “By the way, Alda was wondering if you would be coming home for Christmas. Since you won’t be, I had a friend of mine go pay her a visit. After all, it’s no fun being home alone during the holidays.” A cruel laugh escaped his lips as he turned his chair around and started to roll away.

  Carina fell to her knees, paralyzed with fear and worry for her grandmother.

  “Ninja #5 will stop you,” she said under her breath.

  The Fat Master let go of the tiny lever that controlled his chair, and it stopped abruptly. “What was that you said? I couldn’t hear you.”

  Carina found the strength to stand to her feet. She grabbed the bars of her cage and pressed her face through them. “I said, ‘Ninja #5 will stop you.’”

  With his back still turned to Carina, the Fat Master replied, “I do hope he tries.”

  Fat Mastered

  Three ninjas walked through the woods and into a clearing. The time for concealment had come and gone. Enemy ninjas watched from the branches of the surrounding trees, eagerly awaiting an order to attack. In front of the fortress, Ninja #5, Ninja #7, and a slightly overweight ninja came to a halt. They stared at the massive door of the fortress as if sheer mental force would knock it down.

  “Fat Master,” Ninja #5 shouted, “I’ll give you one chance. Release the kids and turn yourself over.”

  For a moment, all was silent, then a laugh echoed throughout the woods. Birds flew out of the trees at the sound.

  “You bring three to challenge me?” the Fat Master’s voice rang out from loudspeakers mounted on the walls. “I think you will find that my army is more than willing to stay and fight for me.”

  “Your army?” Ninja #7 said, her voice strong and defiant. “Do you truly wish for kids to fight your battles for you?”

  “Don’t look down on them because they are young,” the Fat Master answered. “You will find that there is more to them than meets the eye. Also, in case you were wondering, Carina says hello. She is unharmed. If you wish her to stay that way, then I’ll give you one chance—turn yourselves over to me.”

  “I’m going to walk right through your gates,” Ninja #5 proclaimed, “and I’m going to walk back out with Carina and the rest of the kids.”

  “Please, attack this fortress and see what happens. I beg you.”

  The full-figured ninja spoke up. “The weight of your evil weighs this planet down and brings us all down with it, but that ends today. We will stop you. It is what Master Chap taught us to do before you had him killed.”

  “About that,” the Fat Master replied, “I didn’t just have him killed. I killed him. Yes, as you know, I hired a hitman, but he was merely a distraction. I’m the one who took him down and the one who lit the match that burned his dojo to the ground with him still inside.”

  “I’ll kill you, you fat bastard!”

  “That’s the spirit . . . And who are you?” the Fat Master asked.

  The overweight ninja removed his mask. “My name is Billy Ito, brother to Chapton Ito. You killed my brother and his dream, so today, you die.”

  “This is getting good,” the Fat Master said. “Let’s spice things up even more. Ninjas, kill those two, but bring Billy Ito to me.”

  Throwing stars fell from the treetops like bladed leaves. The ninjas dodged them by rolling quickly away. Nine black figures fell upon them. It became impossible for those watching from inside the fortress to differentiate who was who. The fight looked like a black cloud of arms, legs, and blades. More than once a severed appendage flew out of the cloud. Who they belonged to, only time would tell. When the dust settled, three ninjas remained. They were cut and bleeding, but alive and breathing. One already had his mask off, and the two remaining ninjas followed suit.

  “I am Ninja #7,” the female ninja announced. Her black hair fell onto her shoulders as her mask came off. A scar traveled down her face. Her eyes were dark and fierce. She was younger than the males. “Master Chap will be avenged today.”

  “And I am Ninja #5, but you already know that somehow. I will give you one last chance. Free the children, come with us, and you will at least live out the rest of your days in the comfort of a jail cell. What will it be?”

  “Come and get me, ninja boy,” the voice cried out.

  Ninja #5 looked at #7 and asked, “Have they agreed?”

  “Yes, they have.” She answered.

  All three ninjas lifted their fists into the air. Inside them they held secret weapons. In unison, they threw what they held into the woods. Red and blue pills disappeared into thick foliage. Moments later, strange noises came from the trees: popping sounds and animal groans. Nature fell silent, until all at once a tidal wave of mutated creatures leaped from the tree line and charged at the fortress. Massive deers rammed the gates, and squirrels as large as golden retrievers climbed the walls. Panthers that now looked more like ancient saber-toothed tigers began attacking the compound, along with alligators that stood upright.

  The front gate fell with a crash. While the animals continued their assault on the fortress they had grown to hate, the ninjas walked right in through the front door. Ninja #5 knew the animals would soon return to their natural forms, but hopefully not before they had torn the place apart. Barely inside, the ninjas were met by an army of obese teenagers standing in formation. They formed a line, blocking further entry. The Fat Master’s voice came over the intercom again. He gave a command, and the army obeyed. Each kid took a pill and swallowed it. The ninjas watched in horror as the kids began to transform, much like the animals, but somehow different. Short kids grew taller. Fat kids became skinny. Weak kids became strong. Muscles formed where none had been before. They grew to unbelievable and unnatural sizes. The Fat Master’s army of obesity had transformed into a troop of bodybuilders. The now-ripped teenagers raged and stomped their feet, ready for a fight.

  “Remember,” Ninja #7 said, “they may look like killing machines, but they are still teenagers. So no killing!”

  “You want to tell them about the no killing rule?” Ninja #5 asked.

  “Why don’t I take one of those pills and literally give them a dose of their own medicine,” Billy joked as he patted his belly.

  They laughed for a moment, then ran into a sea of muscles and manufactured strength.

  ***

  Carina was asleep in her cell when she was awoken by an alarm. Every kid in the place had fallen into line and was standing in a fighting stance as if they were about to go into battle. She knew that Ninja #5 had come for her. She was elated but also worried. There was no way that one man could take down the Fat Master and his army alone. She had to help, but how? Like an answer to her prayer, a wild boar—that looked big enough to put a saddle on—broke through the wall,
five feet away from her cage. It was turning to attack the wall again when Carina had an idea. She yelled at the beast and threw a rock at it. Turning its attention to Carina, the boar charged at her with unbelievable speed. She jumped and held onto the roof of her cage. The pig snout made contact and the cell door burst open. With the beast now inside the cage with her, she held on tight and pulled her legs up as high as possible. The boar shook its head, rutted the ground momentarily, and then exited the cage. She followed it out and took in her surroundings. The Fat Master’s army was popping pills into their mouths. Not one, but three ninjas stood against them. The kids had transformed.

  “What the . . . what?” Carina said to herself.

  As the battle began, she snuck away. She went looking for the Fat Master, wanting to choke the life out of him.

  ***

  The ninjas dodged, kicked, and karate-chopped until every last Schwarzenegger-sized kid was knocked out cold. The hardest part was knocking them out without actually doing too much damage. Billy dragged the incapacitated kids away from the fray.

  “Show yourself, Fat Master!” Ninja #5 yelled at the top of his lungs.

  The Fat Master slowly rolled up to them. It seemed like an eternity as he maneuvered his rolling chair around the rubble of his fallen compound. The chair made a humming noise as its mechanics worked overtime to transport the mammoth man to his intended destination. He stopped a few meters in front of them. “You have done well today, but now I will kill you myself,” he said.

  “That’s laughable,” Billy muttered. “You can’t even walk on your own, much less get out of that chair to kill us.”

  “Time to stop playing games!” Ninja #5 proclaimed. “Who are you? Take off that mask and let’s end this now.”