Fat Whack Read online

  “Pick it up. Throw it to me.”

  “Yeah, yeah. It seems a little unfair you get a glove and I don’t.” Chap picked up the ball and threw it. It landed in his Master’s glove with a thunk.

  “I do not need a glove; therefore . . . I use one.” He threw the ball back to the kid, harder than the previous times. Chap caught it and fought back a groan. One of his fingernails had cracked somehow. He fought through the pain and threw the ball back.

  “That doesn’t make a lick of sense, but whatever. Hey, maybe we should start a Takanashi’s Dojo softball team! What do you think, old man?”

  As a response, the old man threw the ball back at his student with blinding speed. When Chap caught it and winced from the pain, the old man laughed. Then they both started laughing. Master and student played catch, just the two of them, for the rest of the night.

  An Obstacle Of Course

  Carina got in the best runner’s stance she could manage just behind the starting line. Teens stood all around the contestants, cheering and placing bets. Getting here had been a difficult task. She had spent the last few days alone in a country town in rural Florida. She wanted her eventual appearance outside the Fat Master’s fortress to seem natural. Showing up with a few fat kids from a nearby town would help her accomplish this. What made this task so hard was that Carina had never been the best at making friends. It just didn’t come naturally to her. She could do it; she just never felt motivated to do it. If she was being paid to meet someone new and train them at her gym, she could be as friendly and outgoing as she needed to be. So she just imagined this was her job, reached down deep, and found her motivation.

  The first thing she did was ask around town about holiday parties. There were quite a few. Part of the cover story she had worked out with Ninja #5 was to tell anyone who asked that she was in town visiting relatives for the holidays. At the parties, a few popular kids had talked to her, but for the most part the popular crowd had ignored her. She was certain that the fat suit was to blame. That was totally fine; she needed friends of a different sort. So far, every overweight teen she had spoken with looked at her like she was on crack when she asked about a secret hangout in the woods where people “like them” fit in. This was the last party of the night.

  Feeling like she should give up, Carina walked over to a country boy who was standing all by himself looking through a massive stack of VHS tapes. It was obvious that he felt uncomfortable at this party. He was wearing cowboy boots and a button-up shirt tucked into tight jeans. He was definitely overweight, but he also had a muscular build. With a little training at the gym, Carina thought, he could gain some serious muscle mass and shed pounds quickly. She approached the boy and said, “Looks like you could throw some serious weights around if you hit the gym, yo.”

  For some reason she had made her voice deeper. She hadn’t done that while talking to any of the other kids in town. It sounded ridiculous, like when Mulan was pretending to be a man in the Disney cartoon. The boy looked at her, puzzled. For starters, a girl was talking to him. Second, it seemed like she was trying to give him fitness advice when she wasn’t exactly the most in-shape individual herself. Last but not least, she had said “yo” at the end of her sentence.

  “Thank you very much . . . yo,” he said to her with a thick southern drawl in a confused tone.

  Realizing how ridiculous she must have sounded, Carina reached for the boy’s hand and shook it.

  “I’m Car . . .” She had been telling everyone in town her name was Abigail, but for some reason this time she almost forgot to use her fake name.

  “I’m sorry? You’re a car?” he asked as she stared into space.

  “Sorry, mate. I’m . . . uh . . . Cara Denver, but you can call me Car.” Carina rolled her eyes at herself.

  “Ok, nice to meet you, Car. Would it be okay if I called you Cara? Sounds like someone dropped the ball in the nicknaming-you department.”

  “Cara is perfect. I mean, that would be just fine, thanks.” Carina gave him an authentic smile.

  “My name is Drew. Are you new in town?”

  “Yes, I’m here visiting family for the holidays. What were you doing hiding over here in the corner?”

  “Oh, just looking through these old video tapes. There’s some pretty good stuff here.” He lifted up a copy of The Shining. It had a picture of Jack Nicholson on its cover. He put the cover of the tape over his face and said in his best creepy voice, “Here’s Johnny!” They both laughed out loud.

  “I love horror movies!” she said through her laughter. “Have you ever seen The Evil Dead?”

  “Have I ever seen The Evil Dead? What kind of question is that? Of course I’ve seen The Evil Dead. I hear it just got released on DVD! I’m going to get it, even though I don’t know anyone who has a DVD player. I will one day though! Wait, you like The Evil Dead?” he asked.

  “Yeah, what, can girls not like The Evil Dead or something?”

  “No. I mean, yeah, you can like whatever you like. Wow, you’re a girl after my own heart.”

  They both blushed and were quiet for a moment. Drew eventually broke the awkward silence. “They have some not-so-good stuff, too.” He lifted up the wacky, colorful cover of “Weird Al” Yankovic’s movie, UHF.

  “Shut up!” she yelled as she punched Drew on his shoulder. “UHF is a comedy gold mine! Wheel of fish! Conan the Librarian! I can’t believe you don’t like UHF.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I remember all the gags. Spatula City, the Indiana Jones and Rambo rip off scenes—I just don’t find gags like that to be all that funny.”

  “You don’t, huh?” she said as she jokingly turned to walk away.

  “Wait! Of course I do,” he said in a sarcastic tone of voice. “Don’t you know the Dewey Decimal System?” he quoted from the movie. “Hahaha, so funny—comedy gold.”

  She turned back around and rolled her big brown eyes at him. “So let me guess,” she said, “Dumb and Dumber is your favorite comedy?”

  “Look at that, we just met and you already know me so well.”

  “Yup, guess I do. So, it’s safe to assume movies are your thing, huh?”

  “Yeah, sure, among other things.”

  “What kind of other things?”

  “Well, just dorky things that I wouldn’t want a pretty girl to know I’m into.”

  “What could be so embarrassing? Are you like a professional puppeteer or something?” She put her hand up into the air making an imaginary puppet dance and sing.

  “No,” he replied. “But I have done some puppets for the kids at church before, and I do think that it would be totally rad to work for the Jim Henson company! Speaking of, what do you think about The Dark Crystal?”

  “I love that movie!” she blurted out with genuine enthusiasm. “But I like Labyrinth more.”

  “Puppets talking to Bowie’s package. That’s the reason you like Labyrinth more. Don’t get me wrong, Labyrinth’s a great flick, but us mature nerds gravitate towards The Dark Crystal.”

  “Did you just call me an immature nerd?” she asked.

  Almost an hour later, she realized that she was still in the middle of the most delightful conversation she had been a part of in a very long time. They talked about movies and video games and what they thought would happen at midnight on New Year’s Eve. Everyone had a Y2K theory, and they were no exception. After much debate about failing computer systems and robotic uprisings, Carina realized that she needed to get back to the mission at hand. Drew seemed like a great guy. It felt wrong to invite him out of his world of fictional fun and into a world of real danger. She decided to leave him out of this and go it alone.

  “Listen, Drew,” she said. “It’s been great having someone so cool to talk to at this lame party, but I gotta go. It was nice to meet you.” She put her hand out for it to be shook.

  He stared at her outstret
ched hand with sad puppy dog eyes. Mentally, he was turning the pages of the dictionary in his head, searching for words that would keep her from leaving. Anything that would give him a few more minutes with Cara. He couldn’t think of anything, so he shook her hand.

  Carina walked away and was almost out the door, when Drew made a last-ditch effort to detain her by calling out, “Hey, this might sound weird, but I was gonna go check out a club-fort-place-thing in the woods a few people I know have been talking about. You wanna go with me?”

  Carina’s jaw dropped. She turned around and smiled at him.

  Drew smiled back and joked, “I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

  ***

  “On your mark, get set, go!”

  Carina and Drew started running. They had stood outside the large door of what Carina knew was the Fat Master’s fortress for only a few minutes before the door had opened and let them in. Drew’s friend, Sebastian, had tagged along. When they reached the fortress, there was already an obese teenage boy standing outside its gate.

  Now, an hour later, all four of them were participating in some sort of obstacle course. They were told that all they had to do to gain membership was participate. The first part of the race was simple enough. They ran over stepping stones that stretched across a pool of water. One of the stones gave way and sunk a little under Carina’s foot. It caught her off guard, but she was able to use her speed to quickly hop to an adjacent rock and keep moving forward. She heard a splash behind her and a scream just before she jumped off of the last stepping stone and onto dry land. She was in the lead. She looked back to check on the others and saw that Drew and Sebastian were not far behind, but the fourth kid was missing.

  Ahead she saw four doors that led into a large building. She picked a door and entered. Now inside, she could tell that she had entered a maze. One night after training on the abandoned Fat Whack obstacle course, Ninja #5 had made her watch episodes of a Japanese game show called Takeshi’s Castle. He said it was the inspiration for the course and it could help. He was right—this trial was straight out of the first episode.

  There were many doors inside the maze that led to different rooms. She guessed that if this maze was indeed copying Takeshi’s Castle, then some of the rooms would contain a gladiator of sorts. The goal was to avoid the gladiator and get out on the other side. Speed would be her friend, but she also needed to be careful because some of the doors might lead to disqualification. She ran as fast as her fat suit would let her, blasting through one door after another. She went through a door that she thought might be an exit. She was wrong—a pair of enormous arms tried to wrap around her from behind. She immediately went limp and fell to the floor.

  Once on the ground, she rolled and then kicked the massive man’s legs out from under him. From the ground he reached for her, but she was already on her feet and sprinting through another door. A scream sounded behind her. One of the boys must have run into a gladiator. She bolted through a door that turned out to be the exit and found herself standing on dirt and pine needles. Placing her hands behind her head, she took a few deep breaths. There was one more obstacle ahead. She should get moving, but she wanted to wait and see if anyone else would exit the maze. Drew crashed through the exit. He was breathing hard, and sweat was dripping from his pale forehead. He put his hands on his knees and tried to catch his breath. While doing so, he looked up and gave her a wink. Carina put her hand up, wanting a high five.

  “Seriously?” he joked. With some effort he gave her what she wanted. They waited a moment longer, but Sebastian never exited the maze. Together they began jogging to the last challenge.

  The couple stood side by side at the base of a narrow ramp. The ramp had walls on each side, and it traveled at a steep incline up to a platform approximately fifty feet in the air.

  “We’re two contestants down,” Drew said. “What are the odds we both get to the top of this thing?”

  “One in a million?” she replied.

  “So you’re telling me there’s a chance,” Drew said, quoting a line from his favorite comedy.

  They laughed and began the climb. Ten feet up the ramp, they noticed a cutaway on both sides of the wall. They were alcove-like spaces big enough for one person to fit inside each.

  “What are these hideaways for?” Drew asked.

  As if in answer to his question, a huge round boulder rolled down from the top of the ramp, straight towards the duo. It picked up speed. The reason for the alcoves quickly became apparent—they were safety zones. Both participants dashed into their own safe zone and waited until the rolling boulder passed them by.

  “This is actually sorta fun!” Carina yelled from the safety of her alcove.

  “Sorry, but I don’t agree,” Drew replied. “Also, did that boulder kinda look like it—”

  “We gotta move if we wanna make it to the next safe zone!” Carina interrupted. She jumped back onto the ramp and ran upwards. Drew followed. Moments later, another boulder appeared. Carina pushed herself hard and got to a safe zone with time to spare. She looked back at Drew. He was on his hands and knees crawling, obviously exhausted. She wouldn’t let him give up; the personal trainer in her just couldn’t allow it. She ran back down and grabbed a handful of his shirt. Pulling hard, she yanked him up and got him moving.

  Not wanting to let her down, Drew dug deep and got to a safe zone just in time. Carina flung herself into the other. They had cut it so close that the boulder scraped her elbow just before she made it to safety. A patch of flesh went missing from her arm, and blood dripped from the wound. Carina’s eyes widened as she put it all together. This is real. This is life or death. Sebastian and that other kid—are they dead?

  “Drew!” she yelled. “This is all real!”

  “Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing!” he replied.

  The two of them stayed in their safe zones, not wanting to move at all, when all of a sudden the safe zones started shrinking. The walls behind them started moving, pushing them out onto the ramp.

  “Let’s move!” Carina yelled.

  Together they started to climb. The last safe zone appeared to be about ten feet up the ramp. Another boulder started its descent towards them. Pushing as hard as they could, it looked as if they would make it to the safe zones with a few seconds to spare. They came to a stop when they reached their destination and looked at each other in horror—there was only one safe zone this time, and it was only big enough to fit one person. Without a word, Drew shoved Carina into the safe space face first. She felt a gust of wind pass behind her. She turned around. Drew was gone. Another victim in a madman’s game. She wanted to sit down and cry, but the wall started pushing her back onto the ramp. Climbing the last ten feet, she stepped onto the winner’s platform. An alarm rang out, declaring her the winner.

  Cheers erupted from down below. There was a zip line that went from the platform to some far-off room. Carina thought about how she had always wanted to do a zip line, but not like this. She did it anyway. Grabbing the handlebars, she zipped downward, towards the unknown room.

  At the end of the line, she found herself in a sort of throne room. The place was filled with food, everything from fine dining to fast food. Thanksgiving turkeys sat next to a platter of tacos. Massive containers of chocolate pudding resided beside serving trays of sushi. There were hamburgers and hotdogs, chips and dips, cookies and cakes. A ninja stood on a stage at the far end of the room. She blinked, and a second ninja joined. In between them lay a monster of a man. He had to weigh easily over one thousand pounds. It appeared as if the man was naked, except that he was wearing a mask over his face. Folds of flesh lay heavily on top of more folds of flesh. His arms were hiding under himself, so much so that it almost appeared as if he had tiny T-Rex hands. Carina walked up to the stage. “This may be the dumbest question I’ve ever asked,” she said, “but, you wouldn’t happen to be the Fat Master, would yo
u?”

  The man laughed. “Congratulations on your victory! You are welcome to eat your fill. You should make up for precious calories lost. You performed quite well on the course.”

  “You call that an obstacle course? Three people died! It was a death trap!” she yelled at the top of her lungs.

  “What is your name?” he asked.

  “My name is Cara,” she lied.

  “Well, Cara, maybe you are right. But it’s not a death trap for someone as skilled as you. I couldn’t help but notice that you never even seemed winded. Even now, you seethe with anger because of the death of your friend, but you look as if you could do my obstacle course all over again. The way you went back to help that poor boy up the ramp, that’s something I haven’t seen before. Too bad in the end it wasn’t enough to save poor Drew.”

  “Don’t you say his name!” she screamed. “You don’t deserve to say his name!”

  “Okay, dear,” he answered, “I will refrain from saying his name. From now on I’ll simply refer to him as your deceased friend. However, I’m not sure that calling him friend is accurate. He never even knew your real name, did he, Carina?”

  Carina’s heart sank like a weight the size of the Fat Master. With his dinosaur hand, the Fat Master made a small gesture. A ninja appeared in front of Carina. The ninja stabbed her in the stomach with his sword, then quickly withdrew the blade. In shock, she grabbed her stomach where the blade had been. There was no pain, and no blood. She saw only white stuffing and bits of a familiar looking faded yellow cushion.

  “You are wearing a fat suit,” the Fat Master said. “It’s a pretty convincing costume. I wonder . . . did your grandmother make it for you?”

  White hot rage overwhelmed her.

  “If you touch her, I’ll kill you!”

  “No grandmother touching right now, but in due time . . . who knows? You should feel honored. I keep tabs on everyone who could possibly be a threat to my plans, and I’ve been keeping tabs on you since you were ten. Your poor dad died, someone drove a car into your place of employment, your apartment was ransacked—this ringing any bells?”