Fat Whack Read online

  Paraninja Activity

  The Fat Master roamed throughout his fallen kingdom, searching for his prey.

  “I will find you,” he yelled, “and when I do, I’ll eat the flesh off your bones!”

  The ninjas hid close by. They could hear their enemy’s thunderous footfalls. What they needed was time to recover from their injuries and a few moments to catch their breath, but they wouldn’t get either. Sitting in meditation, the healing process had begun, when Ninja #5 was ripped out of his trance by a voice.

  “Ninja #5, it’s okay. Just go!” Carina yelled. “Forget about me! Just promise to come back when you can and kill this guy.”

  Ninja #5 limped into view. The Fat Master was holding Carina ten feet up in the air.

  “I will kill her now, or you can lay down your weapons and surrender. Your choice,” he said.

  Carina struggled against the iron grip, kicking with all her might.

  The ninja’s mind raced. He knew first-hand how bone-crushing that grip was.

  “This one escaped her cage and tried to kill me,” the Fat Master said. “She wrapped a chain around my neck and tried to strangle me. I think someone’s seen Return of the Jedi one too many times.”

  He began yanking at Carina’s limbs. One of her arms popped out of its socket and it dangled beside her body in an unnatural way. Carina gritted her teeth and groaned in agony, but she refused to pass out. He held her tight in one hand, and with the other, the Fat Master tried to hammer Ninja #5 into the ground, but he was too quick. Seeing an opening, and calling upon his last reserve of strength, the ninja leaped over the fist and ran up the muscular arm. Standing on his enemy’s shoulder, he buried his sword deep into the Fat Master’s neck. He then flipped backwards onto the ground. The Fat Master roared in pain. He desperately grabbed at his neck and then fell to his knees. Gurgling sounds poured from his throat. He dropped Carina, and then he fell on his face, defeated.

  Billy and Ninja #7 limped onto the battlefield.

  “Holy crap, you did it!” Billy exclaimed.

  Ninja #5 turned to see his friends. They were overjoyed, walking towards him with smiles from ear to ear. The smiles vanished. They were pointing at him—no, not at him, behind him. He turned just in time to see the fist before it slammed into him like a bag of bricks.

  “Well, you can say you gave it your best shot,” the Fat Master said. He pulled the sword out of his neck like it was a toothpick and threw it to the ground. Ninja #5 moaned and looked up into the face of his enemy. “Good, you’re not dead! I want you to see this!”

  He picked Carina back up and delicately placed a finger on each side of the girl’s head, then he started pulling. He intended to pop her head clean off, but first he wanted to make a show of it.

  “Do it!” Carina yelled as her neck stretched to the brink of breaking.

  “Wait!”

  Every blood-soaked eye turned to see a boy in boots, standing all by himself. He bowed down and addressed the Fat Master as reverently as possible.

  “I was willing to trade my life for that girl, but you saved me, oh fat one. I see now what a liar and manipulator she is. She tricked me and used me. She even gave me a false name. By the way, Cara, how did you get so skinny all of a sudden?”

  Carina closed her eyes, not wanting to look Drew in his.

  “I have been watching,” Drew went on, “and I see that your strength is unmatched. You will rule this world. Please, let me serve you! I will kill this girl as a pledge of my devotion to you!”

  “So you wish to join me?” the Fat Master said. “I will grant your request. Pick up the sword, and kill her. Do this and you will lead my armies into battle.”

  He sat Carina down on her knees in front of the boy.

  Drew picked up the sword and got on one knee in front of her. “Look at me!” he yelled as he placed the tip of the sword on her neck. A tear fell from Carina’s eye.

  “I’m glad you’re alive,” she whispered. “It might not mean much now, but thank you for saving me.”

  “No problem, Car.” He winked, and then he threw her on her back and held the sword above his head, playing the part. “I have a plan,” he whispered. “Hug me.”

  “Your plan is for me to hug you? What kind—”

  “Just hug me!” Drew interrupted. “Please.”

  Carina hugged Drew with her still functioning arm. He dropped the sword and hugged her back while helping her to her feet. The embrace sent the Fat Master into a rage. He picked them up and squeezed them together.

  “You want to be together? Fine, get closer than you ever thought possible. I will eat you both and you can spend some quality time together being digested.”

  The ninjas prepared to attack, but hands grabbed them and held them down. The Fat Master’s army had regained consciousness. It was all happening too fast.

  The Fat Master separated the kids, holding one in each hand. “Which one of you little shits do I eat first?” he asked himself.

  The ninjas watched in horror as Carina was lifted towards the Fat Master’s wide-open mouth. Carina was looking straight down into his throat. Rows of yellow teeth surrounded her. A muscular uvula hovered over a dark chasm in front of her.

  “Now!” Drew yelled.

  Earlier, during their embrace, Drew had passed Carina a handful of something. The small things were still in her one good hand. At first, she had no idea what Drew had wanted her to do with them, but now, literally inside the Fat Master’s mouth, she knew exactly what to do. Carina threw the pills down the Fat Master’s gullet. She watched as they rolled off the back of his tongue and fell down into the darkness. The reaction was instantaneous. Carina and Drew were dropped to the ground with a thud. The Fat Master’s body convulsed. It looked as if his different muscle groups were doing the wave at a sporting event. His muscles grew larger and larger, until his head disappeared within them. His arms and legs started to disappear as well. In a span of sixty seconds, the Fat Master had morphed into one large wad of muscle. The ball of strength throbbed and quivered in an alien way, until it finally exploded. Large pieces of flesh hit the ground. A mist of blood filled the air and covered everything in tiny dots of red. Drew covered Carina as a tangle of intestines fell on top of them. Pieces of the Fat Master were scattered across the ground as far as the eye could see. All that was left was a bloody husk that resembled a cracked-open egg.

  As the Fat Master exploded, the army of teenagers started reverting to their original forms, the pills’ effects having worn off. They stood, scared and confused, in the middle of their Master’s remains. The ninjas they had been trying to kill only moments ago stood beside a broken shell that used to be their leader. Suddenly, the need to kill didn’t seem so urgent anymore.

  “You did it!” Drew said to Carina.

  “Yes, you did it,” Ninja #5 said as he approached them. “Thank you. You avenged my master.”

  “Yes,” Billy said, “from the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

  Carina smiled “We all did it. We all fought to make things right.”

  “We make a good team,” Drew added.

  “Uh guys,” Ninja #7 said, “I hate to break up the party, but are you seeing this?”

  She pointed to the Fat Master’s remains. The blob of blood and bones moved as if something was hatching from it.

  “Where’s Sigourney Weaver when you need her?” Drew asked as he backed away slowly.

  The rest of the group leaned in to look inside. They jumped back in unison when a bright light flew out of the carcass and into the air. The light split into thirteen separate entities. The ghosts zigzagged through the air while a blue flame burned them. The flame consumed them all, one ghost after the other.

  Carina, Drew, the ninjas, and all the teenagers watched in amazement as the final apparition hovered close to Billy’s face. It burned in agony as it spok
e.

  “I could have conquered the world in this host, but he loved you too much to leave!”

  “What?” Billy Asked.

  “Takanashi! The damn fool could have passed on to paradise, but he stayed. He wanted to stop me! He wanted to save you.”

  “You were possessing him? What are you?”

  “I am Devoratrix. The devourer of the world! The demon of the dojo. I have killed . . .”

  With a flash of blue the demon flamed out of existence.

  It’s A Beautiful Day Until It Isn’t

  -Second Perspective-

  The dojo was as full as it had ever been. A pleasurably weird assortment of humanity was now training under the great Master Takanashi. Most of them had joined, all thanks to Chapton. He was a people person. He had a certain way about him that got people excited to be a part of something, even if that something was joining a run-down dojo. It had been a perfect day. Chap and Billy’s parents had gone out for some much-deserved alone time. Chap had suggested the zoo, and he even let his parents borrow the bikes. Without bikes, the boys needed a ride, so they bummed a ride with their friend, Steven. Steven had a car that his parents had bought him. He was adopted. His parents owned a bakery and made pretty good money, so Steven got most anything he wanted.

  The boys’ day had started out great. They watched a movie, and after the movie they went to the pool. Chap and Billy loved going to the pool, especially now that they had both lost so much weight. Steven left his shirt on, but as long as he was with his friends, no one would pick on him. After the pool, they cruised around town for a while with the windows down and their music turned up. Last but not least, Steven let his friends take turns driving in the parking lot of the abandoned supermarket across the street from the dojo. They did this until it was time to train. Master Takanashi was actually smiling while he taught the class. The dojo full of people seemed to fill him up with energy. He was not the same drunken old man who had taken down a group of bullies with a wet rag not too long ago; he had changed. Chap looked at the clock, and then he looked at his brother.

  “Do you have somewhere you would rather be?” asked Master Takanashi.

  “Sorry, no, sensei,” Chap said. “It’s just, our parents were excited to cook for us tonight. All of a sudden, they are really into eating healthy, I guess because of this.” Chap lifted his shirt up and patted his abs. The class laughed.

  “That is good,” Master Takanashi said. “Maybe they could join us for a class some time?”

  “I’ve already talked to them about it. You’ll see them soon, I’m sure of it.”

  “I look forward to seeing them again. It has been too long since our last visit. Now if you don’t mind, we have a class in progress.”

  “Sorry, Master,” Chap said as he bowed. The class continued. When it was almost over, they heard a loud crashing sound outside. Looking out the window, they saw a car driving away at a fast speed.

  “Steven, isn’t that your car?” asked Billy.

  Everyone ran outside as fast as they could.

  “Someone just stole my car!” Steven shouted.

  “Hey look, your car ran over our bikes,” Billy said.

  “Uh . . . we didn’t ride our bikes tonight,” Chap responded.

  Just then, the two boys noticed something else—a shoe on the road. Chap picked up the shoe and examined it closely. Then Billy tapped his brother on the shoulder and said, “Look.” Billy was pointing at two bodies on the road, about fifteen feet up the street. One of them was missing a shoe. They ran to the bodies and fell to their knees beside them. Together, they wept at the sight of their dead parents. The couple was still holding hands like their date had never ended.

  Later that night, a homeless man that resided at the abandoned grocery store across the street tried to fall asleep, but sleep would not come. In place of slumber, he downed his last can of beer and chased it down with some mouthwash. He sat up on his cardboard mattress, swiveled his head, and kept watch for a glimpse of the other world he had witnessed earlier. He rambled to himself, speaking words that only the cockroaches could hear. However, if someone else was around to hear, they would have heard a story about a ghost, a car, and a married couple that was murdered by both.

  Chew The Fat

  Carina studied her reflection. She looked like the same girl, battered and bruised, her arm in a sling, but still the same girl. She felt different though. Despite the lingering pain, she felt better than ever, as if a huge weight had been lifted off of her. A gentle touch landed on her shoulder, and she saw a new reflection in the window.

  “Are you ready?” Ninja #5 asked.

  “Look at you!” Carina squeaked while trying to hold in a laugh.

  “What?”

  “Sorry, you look good.”

  Ninja #5 was dressed in casual clothes. In place of his normal ninja attire, he now wore a short-sleeve, all-white, button-down shirt. He also had white pants on and leaned on a cane because of his injuries.

  “Don’t make fun,” he said. “l bought this outfit brand-new.”

  She laughed even harder.

  “Sorry, it’s just, you look like you should be welcoming me to a Japanese Jurassic Park.”

  “Haha, very funny. Do you think Alda will like it?” he asked sincerely.

  “No. But she’ll like you for the person you are underneath those ugly clothes.”

  “Thanks for the honesty. Can we go in now?” he asked.

  Together, they walked away from the window, towards the entrance of the establishment. Ninja #5 held the door open for her, but before she walked through it, she stopped to look at him.

  “You know, it’s gonna be weird calling you Ninja #5 while you’re dressed this way,” she said. “How about you tell me your real name?”

  The ninja looked at her and then looked down at her feet.

  “If I tell you my name,” he said, “will you stop stalling and go inside already?”

  She nodded in agreement.

  “You may call me Steven. It is the name I have used since I arrived in the states as a young boy.”

  “Steven, I like it. It’s a lot better than calling you a number. Can I tell my abuela your real name?”

  “She already knows; I told her as soon as we got back.”

  Carina punched him with her good arm. “You told her before you told me!”

  “I had to!” he said. “I told her everything. Listen, you’re scary, but she’s scarier.”

  “True,” she admitted. “Where do you think I get it from.”

  He grinned at her.

  She stepped through the door and into the pizza parlor. The smell hit her hard. Tears pooled in her eyes, but before they could fall, she spotted everyone waving at her from the back of the restaurant. Alda, Billy, Ninja #7, and Drew were all there. Suddenly, the smell wasn’t so overwhelming.

  They ate pizza and laughed a lot. After a decade of taking life as seriously as possible, Carina and Steven let go a little. They would always train hard. They would always take health and wellness seriously, but now they knew that a slice of pizza every once in a while wouldn’t kill them. They also realized that making friends and family a priority was just as important to healthy living as going to the gym, probably even more important.

  Days ago, Billy had gone to the authorities and told them everything—well, almost everything. He told them he had been investigating his brother’s murder since the day it happened, and the investigation had led him to the Fat Master’s fortress. He said that he didn’t know the identities of the three ninja heroes, but he was thankful for them. The cops had questions, but at the time they seemed less concerned with the identities of the ninjas and more concerned about the kidnapped kids. The teenagers were given the help they needed and returned to their families. They were able to corroborate Billy’s story to the cops. They also
spoke of a girl and a boy who had stood up to the Fat Master and ultimately defeated him, but no one knew who they were. The wrecked fortress, Imunotech pills, and exploded flesh in the woods helped to prove it all as well. After so many years, Master Chap was finally cleared of all crimes.

  The story of the three ninjas who had taken down a madman in the woods calling himself the Fat Master, thus saving the lives of hundreds of missing children, spread like wildfire. Ninjas were still illegal, but suddenly they weren’t so scary anymore. This led Billy to announce that he intended to reopen the Fat Whack dojos and rebuild the obstacle courses. He claimed it was what his brother would want, and everyone agreed.

  “But I have one thing left to do first,” Billy added.

  “You and me both,” Steven said.

  They were going to go hunting for the Anteater.

  The night the group had returned, Alda had welcomed them into her home upon Carina’s request. At first, after seeing Carina’s injuries, she was livid. After hearing the whole story, she was still quite upset, but she understood why it all had to happen.

  “The kids are gonna be okay?” she asked her granddaughter.

  “They will be, eventually,” Carina answered.

  Ninja #5 and Carina had told her everything. The truth was hard to hear for many reasons, but mostly because she had mourned the loss of her son, Ryan, every day for what felt like an eternity, and now the wound felt fresh again.

  “I’m sorry I lied to you,” Carina said. “I’m sorry I worried you. This was just something I had to do. Please forgive me.”

  “I’m proud of you, Carina,” Alda told her, “and your dad would be, too.”

  Carina smiled and buried herself in her grandmother’s arms. A tear dropped from Alda’s eye and landed in Carina’s hair.

  “Never lie to me again, or I’ll kick your ass.”